Everyday my wife and I feel totally and utterly alone in our battle with infertility. We watch from our Facebook window to the world as people we know are experiencing the joys of parenthood. We get to see pictures and posts of them all getting together. It seems like all our friends and family are together all of the time hanging out and all their kids are even best friends. Some of them wouldn’t even know each other if it weren’t for our common friendship. So while we wait and plan for something that we desperately want, but might never have, we feel excluded from so much, seemingly just because we don’t have kids.
Let me throw in here that I know the Facebook perception might not be a reality, but the way I feel about what I see is very real. Which is why I started this blog in the first place: to let people know how I (and probably others) feel.
Every now and then our phone rings and our faces light up when we see that the number is a loved one who we would love to hang out with! One of two things happen when we answer the phone:
1. The person small talks us for three seconds and then says
something like, “I wanted to tell you before you saw it on Facebook,
WE’RE PREGNANT! Alright talk to you later”
2. They immediately invite us to hang out! Then we get together and
they say something like, “I wanted to tell you before you saw it on
Facebook, WE’RE PREGNANT!”
It has come to the point that when someone does call us, text us, Facebook message us, or want to hang my first thought is, “They must be pregnant.” Sometimes, it feels like people don’t talk to us until they want to tell us they’re pregnant. Lives are busy, I get it. The phone works both ways, I get that too. I know sometimes we aren’t able to make time for each other because there is just so much going on in each of our lives. I just wish that a pregnancy announcement was not the only time a phone call was made.
I do not write this post to tell you how to tell your infertile friends that you are pregnant, that is a whole other topic that I hope to write on that another time. I write this to tell you that your infertile friends feel lonely. Both of them, the guy and the girl feel completely alone. Please, please, please, don’t let your pregnancy announcement be the only time that you make time for your friends without kids.
Thanks for reading,
Just another story from a Childless Father.